Eat And Be Happy.

So, today's topic on air about Ben's Men's Health Magazine's photo shoot has garnered quite a few comments. I'm sure at one point or another macha, you didn't like the way you look and has decided to lose a few pounds here and there. There are a gazillion methods to lose weight; some say cut down on carbs, exercise more, eat according to your blood type and etc. But right now, I want to write about something different. So here it is. My version of Men's Health: The not very healthy edition.

Phat Fabes' Guide to Get Fat in Five Easy Steps!

1. Slow Your Metabolism.

Here it is bro. When you slow your metabolism down, you'll burn fewer calories. And the easiest way to slow your metabolism down is to stop all forms exercises. You should avoid walking, spend a lot of time in front of the television, don't take the stairs, and not spending time outdoors helps as well. 

The quickest way to get rid of your muscles is not to use them 'cause your body will get rid of them. Just stop using them, and your body will take care of the rest.

2. Drink Lots of Carbonated Soft Drinks

Avoiding physical exercise is only the first step to gaining weight and achieving your goal of packing on the one pack in less than12 months bro. But to speed up the process, you should get addicted to caffeinated soft drink bro.

This is an absolutely wonderful way to pack on the pounds, because soft drinks are made with high-fructose corn syrup which will increase the blood sugar. If you drink enough soft drinks with often enough macha, you will be well on your way to achieving your goal of gaining 100pounds in no time.

3. Choose High Caloric Density Foods

Choose processed foods with ingredients such as white flour, hydrogenated oils or saturated fats, and bro, you can pack in a couple of thousand calories in one sitting without topping off your stomach which I must say dude, is hugely important for achieving your weight gain goals.

Fortunately, these foods are easy to find as well. All you have to do is look for brand-name foods packaged in beautiful boxes with delicious-looking pictures of foods on the front.
If you read the ingredients label, you'll find these foods are made with ingredients like hydrogenate oils, white flour, sugar and other ingredients that have a very high caloric density. You must make sure you eat stuff which has cheese, fried food and lots of white bread. And for breakfast, it's best to eat lots of sugary breakfast cereals with high-fat cow's milk. Hint: Pizza.

4. Load Up On Junk Foods

Dude, you have to definitely follow this step 'cause junk foods are, of course, another outstanding choice for achieving your goals macha. A bag of potato chips provides an impressive quantity of dietary fats that will make you balloon up in no time,

You can also accelerate your weight gain goals by turning to fried foods. Fried foods have very high caloric density bro and the batter in which these foods are fried is normally made with white flour which in plain English means FATS.

5. Visit Fast Food Restaurants Frequently

Who doesn't love fast food? I know I do dude. And I highly recommend you to go to one, three times a day as it enhances your chance on packing those pounds. Be sure to order the largest quantities of soft drinks, fries and hamburgers, because it's quantity that counts here. Aided by menu items from fast food chains, you can pack in as much as 2,000 calories in a single meal macha! This is going to rapidly accelerate your weight gain efforts, because the average adult human being needs only 2,000 calories per day.

So, if you''re on a mission to pack on the pounds, I highly recommend the quick and easy 5 steps that I've listed down for you macha. If not, I hope you at least enjoyed reading this. Have an awesome day. :)